Why do I need a Mentor?
A good mentor lends a perspective other than your own, offers validation, trust, account-ability and support. A mentor is someone who has the spiritual maturity and life experiences to help guide others through difficult times. A coach is someone who has had training (not necessarily experience) in helping people navigate through those difficult periods. A mentor is often a life-long relationship whereas a coach may just get us through a particular season.
A peer, by definition is someone who is at our level of maturity. A peer is someone we can talk with and discuss issues with but should not be seen as a source for direction or advice. Obi Wan Kenobi – Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? The most important role in our peer relationships is to hold each other accountable to attendance and to the process.
From the Flourish a Mentoring Journey book, a mentor must recognize that their ability to mentor is not based on their talents, gifts or even life experiences and successes, but on their dependency on living in Christ and dwelling in the Word. God will equip us to do what He has called us to do. It is often in our weakness that God’s greatest work is done. We can only influence others to spend time with Jesus as they see the results of our time spent with Him.
Thrive Mentor
The Thrive Mentor Philosophy is to model Jesus in all that we do. The Mentor’s mantra is “love them, pray for them and tell them the truth,” believing that doing more than this or becoming personally involved in problem resolution of others may not only promote codependency, it may very well be an attempt to circumvent God.
No matter the issue, circumstance or life event that the mentee is facing, Thrive mentors should not see themselves as a friend, parent figures or a sounding board, but rather as a biblical wise counsel. A wise counselor will always point back to God’s Word and remind us that God is always working in every circumstance.
It is the trials of life that teach us the most. Difficult times prove to us that we all desperately need the Lord and that the Lord desperately wants us to believe in Him, trust in Him and love Him. Often the mentor’s job is to simply remind the mentee of this truth and encourage them, pray for God to give them wisdom and understanding, discernment for His will in the situation and the perseverance and peace to endure. The mentor must be prepared to share their life experiences and turn them back to the Word.
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers [and sisters], whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature [teleios] and complete, not lacking anything.
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
Prov. 19:20-21 “Listen to advise (wise counsel), and receive discipline (instruction) and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a man’s heart; but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
“Wise counsel will help us seek God’s best for our lives by looking at all sides of an issue. Wise counselors turn their own will and agenda over to God as they help guide us. It is better to receive counsel from those who can help review pros/cons and strengths/weaknesses of our decisions rather than listening to those who simply tell us what we want to hear or criticize us. As Prov. 27:6 shares, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” The Bible notes that choosing poor counselors can have disastrous consequences, so it is important to be intentional about whom we seek out.” Arian Miller - Biblical Decision Making.
Wise counsel encourages us to maintain a 30,000-foot view of life and avoid the enemy’s trap of getting consumed by the situation. The enemy’s plan is to paralyze us by either keeping us focused on the mistakes or wounds from our past or worried about the uncertainty of our future. Living in regret, shame, anger and un-forgiveness is being stuck in past while the anxiety of unbelief, unworthiness and lack of trust has us frozen in our current situations. Both of these rob us of our potential in God and His purpose for our lives. A wise counselor will remind us of our enemy’s plan and of the plan that God has for us and encourage us to see the situations of life, not as they are in this moment in time but of how either the enemy will use this situation for our ruin or God will use it for our good. Genesis 50:20.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.
Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation. Selah.
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
John 5:17 But He answered them, “My Father is working until now, and I Myself am working.”
What Thrive Mentors Do:
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Establish a set of boundaries
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A schedule of when, how often they are available to meet or talk
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Take responsibility to keep the relationship equitable, fair and mutually beneficial
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Be honest / Require honesty
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Listen often and speak when needed
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Ask questions and encourage dialogue
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Offer encouragement through God’s Word.
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Advise by showing how to get answers from God rather than by giving answers themselves.
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Share through first hand experiences or Scripture
Thrive Mentors Don’t:
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Become a parent or babysitter
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Offer “solutions” to life situations (housing, financial, personal interference)
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Offer instructions. “Here’s what you need to do.”
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Take responsibility for changing or fixing others.
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Allow codependency to exist in either direction.
Mentor Requirements:
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A personal walk with Jesus is foundational.
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Godly wisdom and discernment.
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Openness and transparency in sharing life experiences.
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Available for coffee, meet ups and godly advice.
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Demonstrate godly character in all things
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Perseverance